Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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