i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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