Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
