Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
