I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Randomize