Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
