I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
