i permit you to call me
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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