the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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