New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
