i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
