shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Your cock deserves a montage
You may now shotgun with the bride
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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