actually, I'm a sock model
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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