what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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