i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
