this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
