I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
