i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
