She is in my trunk
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
