maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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