Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
