I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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