sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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