whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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