your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
