Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
