Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend