sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.