today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?