Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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