One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
