i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
