My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize