I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
