i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
