he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
