even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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