It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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