dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
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there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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