My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
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I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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