ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
