The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
