White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
