I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
