people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
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our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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