Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
