k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
