just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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