We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
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Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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