please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
