a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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