Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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