considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
