Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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