How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
