you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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