I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
