I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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