I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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