I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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