So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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